Achuta noodle scooters and welcome to another installment of Wookieepedia’s weirdest!
Last time we took a look at some of the strangest species in Star Wars lore, and this time we’ll be exploring some of the silliest characters I’ve dug up both in my experiences as a Star Wars fan and my deep dive missions into Wookieepedia to see what the dark depths of Star Wars lore have in store for us.
We’ll be covering just five characters at a time, as there are honestly quite a lot of crazy cretins in the galaxy far far away and I don’t want to overwhelm you all at once.
Skippy the Jedi Droid
Skippy, or R5-D4, as you might know him, is one of my favorite obscure characters.
We all know R5-D4 was the droid Uncle Owen originally wanted to purchase, but the droid blew his top and was accused of having a bad motivator, thus prompting Owen to purchase R2-D2 instead.
Coincidence? I think not. Skippy the Jedi Droid saved Star Wars.
Skippy was a droid who, by some miracle, had Midi-chlorians in his oils and fluids, granting him control of the Force. Now before you get all excited let me point out that Skippy’s story is from the amazing comic series Star Wars Tales, which were non-canon and quite often very humorous.
To summarize, Skippy sensed the Force in Luke and manipulated Owen in to purchasing him from the Jawas. Then he was struck with a vision of the future, He saw what would occur if Luke was not united with R2-D2; stormtroopers would find the droid with the death star plans, the rebellion would fall, and Luke and Leia would die.
Skippy could not let that happen. He used the force to cause a minor explosion in himself, causing Owen to buy R2 instead, thus saving the galaxy.
Jix
Wrenga Jixton was a Corellian human who ended up in the Imperial Academy. How original.
Jix has a rather uninteresting story, mostly of him working with Vader and defying Vader and running away from Vader and the usual things that folks usually get into when they’re a Corellian born Human who defies the Empire.
The reason I felt he needed inclusion on this list is his artwork is just so hilarious.
He looks like he’s straight from the cover of a paperback romance novel.
It doesn’t help that he’s buddies with a guy named Big Gizz.
Bingo Mehndra
Speaking of jizz…
Bingo Mehndra was a Balti smuggler and a rival of none other than Jabba the Hutt.
And he was a big fan of jizz music.
Jabba actually had Bingo assassinated by sending the Max Reebo band to perform at his spawning day party. After being blasted by jizz at his party, bingo was blasted by thermite explosives from the band’s instruments when the performance ended, presumably killing him.
The Max Reebo band survived because they decided to play the gig in hologram form after they noticed their instruments were filled with explosives.
Titi Chronelle
Titi Chronelle was a slave in Mos Espa.
But mostly his name was Titi.
Titi. Heh.
George R. Binks
George R. Binks was Jar Jar’s father and owner of the Binks & Son Whaling Company. (This is another one of those amazing stories from Star Wars Tales.)
On a whaling trip with his wife and his son Jar Jar, their whaling ship was rammed by a whale, shipwrecking the trio on a desert Island.
While stranded on the island Jar Jar suggests they just swim away, they were Gungans after all.
George starts to explain that the seas are filled with creatures that would eat them in a second if they entered the water but cuts himself off and tells Jar Jar that it is indeed a good idea and that he should try and swim for help.
While stranded there George R. Binks was so depressed by his son’s ineptness that he attempted suicide. (see below)
The most depressing/hilarious thing about this story is we find out that as a young gungan, George was ready to marry the love of his life, but decided against it once he discovered she was infertile, and thus unable to provide him with a son to carry on the proud Binks family name.
He then married a woman he was not in love with, but could provide him with a son.
He got his wish and Jar Jar was born!
And that wraps things up for part one of Wookieepedia’s Weirdest Characters! I hope you enjoyed it and stay tuned for more installments!